Introduction: This is an account of what happened when four of us (all women), decided to go to Goa on a weekend. Our return journey made me realize how much I constantly second-guess myself for my own safety because I am a woman, and how much I have internalized this process.

“Why do you need feminism? Why that word?” “You have all your rights. Why do YOU need to be a feminist?” “Women like us don't need to call ourselves feminists.” “You pseudo-feminist. You don’t have to face half the trouble some other women have to, and you call yourself a feminist?”

Gender, according to the definition given by United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women1, refers to the social attributes and opportunities associated with being male and female and the relationships between women and men and girls and boys, as well as the relations between women and those between men.

So, you believe in gender equality. Your blood boils when you hear about atrocities against women? You took a vow not to take dowry? Did you tell your wife, that you are flexible regarding her decision to work or not? Did you promise her that whether she works or not, you will keep a cook to reduce the drudgery in her life?

Having done the above, do you feel happy that you are a loving, egalitarian, considerate partner?

Of course, many of the above questions are addressed to men.